When do you most feel cared for? When do you least feel cared for?

These were the opening questions I asked those who attended a Ministering to Those Who Grieve workshop.  The top answers were presence and meals.

A widow who lost her husband and a young mother who lost her daughter both reported the importance of not being alone. I'm sure they could have their space when they wanted it, but they were both profoundly comforted and supported by the amount of people who were at the house and in the hospital. One's memories were very fresh and the other's was vivid even after a # of years. More people gave similar answers.

"We didn't have to do anything. People brought food and took care of all of our meals, including feeding all of our guests! And we had a house full of people."

I know of a couple of churches who are prepared for when a crisis arises, especially if there isn't time to do a lot of baking. At the end of the first Sunday of the month, when they normally receive a benevolent offering, people from the Care ministry, sometimes the Deacon ministry, stand at the doors with disposable aluminum foil baking pans with instructions for the type of meals, how to label them and how and when to bring them back to the church.  The volunteers take them home and fill the pans with their special recipe and return it to the church to be placed in the freezer. A well stocked freezer is a church that is ready to roll when the need arises.

Not surprisingly, no one in either workshop mentioned they remembered something someone said. It was their presence and practical help that mattered most. Those things made an immeasurable difference in the lives of the grieving. 

Care actions matter and I hope this post encourages you so you enjoy caring for others and offer the best care!