Recently I officiated two Memorial Services in one weekend.

One was for my father-in-law, a man who, at 94, finished well.

The church was standing room only. Colleagues, a brother, children, grandchildren and a great granddaughter spoke emotionally and meaningfully about a man who had influence in their lives from his words and actions of encouragement and inspiration. Beyond the service, many more expressed their love for him and how much they will miss him. I'm sure that others had a story of his impact on their lives.

The next service was for another good man who, for reasons beyond anyone’s knowledge, did not finish well.

Decades ago, he mysteriously disappeared. Apparently, he ran from a crisis he could not solve. No one knows. There was no service then. I know this family too and when they knew I would be in town for the first service, they asked me if after all these years, we could do something formal to memorialize the Dad they loved and that loved them. It was just a few of them at the gravesite of their mother. The wedding picture of the young couple in better days, was on the Mother’s gravesite.

It was beautiful and loving in a different way than the first service. I trust it was meaningful for those who never had a service for their Dad.

I was honored and thankful to be invited to lead these two different yet special services.

They were both very heavy and difficult services to officiate, due to the importance of each. I didn’t want to make any mistakes and I did want to offer both families a once-in-a-lifetime service that met a deep, spiritual and emotional need.

Funeral services are uniquely difficult, but all care ministry is in some way, difficult.

Caring takes energy, intentionality, and time. But perhaps most difficult, it requires wisdom to understand the people we care for. Beyond the situation that brings us to their side, they carry burdens that few others see — grief, illness, ministry pressure, family crisis, and quiet loneliness.

Many people want care for those with needs, but they feel overwhelmed or unsure how to care effectively. They have never been taught or trained. That is emotionally and mentally draining. Sometimes it causes a crisis of belief. And caring takes time. This is where lives are transformed and faith breaks through.

Care ministry is exciting.

I don’t feel comfortable saying, “I like care ministry,” because it does not seem appropriate due to the crisis that brings us together. But I can say, “This is an honor because I feel my efforts are worthwhile and produce results beyond measure.”

This is why I committed, not just to offer care, but to invite others to join me in the Care Ministry journey of learning how to care effectively.

I’m thankful for learning opportunities I have been given in the trenches of Pastoral Care and clinical chaplaincy. The peer relationships have been a special network of learning and support that has strengthened me in both learning and resilience. Sharing our care experiences in cohort and peer support groups adds to my life and ministry and expands the world of care.

Now, I love sharing those lessons through resources that empower colleagues to care effectively for people.  Want to be part of my journey? Shoot me an email – dan@bestcareministry.com.