It was a single car accident. No one knows for sure what happened except for the catastrophic results.

Here is what her father wrote on the thirteenth anniversary her death.

"I've heard it said, 'Megan will be forever young.' Maybe I'm selfish, but that's not what I want.
I wanted to see you graduate high school.
I wanted to hear your excited chatter about your first year in college.
I wanted to have more science debates with you.
I wanted to cross swords with you in more snarky battles of the wits.
I wanted to attend your college graduation.
I wanted to see if you would really go to medical school and whether you'd go with psychiatry or neurology... or whether you'd flip back to doing a grad degree in neuroscience. Heck, you loved physics so much you might have even decided you were really called to be a physicist!
I wanted to have to call you Dr. Baldwin.
I wanted to dance with you at your wedding.
I wanted someday to say, 'you're a MOMMY!'
I wanted to hold your first child, and to watch them while 'mommy and daddy' had a nice dinner outing.
I wanted to see how you and David would interact as adults at Christmastime. And how David would adapt to being an uncle!
I expected that, when I get old, I'd get to have visits from you and your family.
It's 13 ago years today that you said 'goodbye, Dad' as you headed out the door. I miss you."

In another post he wrote, "We change. Your picture stays the same. I'm glad we have them but they are no substitute for you."

With a child's death, is the loss of a future. The parent grieves, the siblings grieve, the grandparents grieve, friends and neighbors do too. The circle of sadness is huge. While a lifetime of grieving allows the sharp edges of the pain to become rounded a little, anniversaries, milestones, other's celebrations of grandchildren are all triggers to a grief that lasts a life time.

Current problems demand our attention in Care Ministry, but thirteen year old losses are current to the parent who lost a child. That increases our list of people who need support in this world of grief. The same skills are required.

BE PRESENT. Reach out. They probably won't ask for help. Try to get together.

ACTIVELY & REFLECTIVELY LISTEN. Lean in. Make eye contact. Ask them open ended questions. Learn how their grief and grieving has changed has stayed the same and changed over the years.

TALK ABOUT THE CHILD. It is sad enough to miss them but the parent wants to know their child is not forgotten.

I remember the morning after the accident when this Dad called me with the horrible news. I haven't seen him in over twenty years. Many miles have separated us and our lives moved in different directions.

But, I had been his Pastor and his sadness continues so I reach out again just to be present and help him have someone who will listen and care about his pain.

That is what we do in Care Ministry. The results are immeasurable, so we do it in faith that caring matters, because Scripture says it does.
.

Your life matters, 

Chaplain Dan
Rev. Daniel R. Hettinger
303.905.0478