In the book, A Decembered Grief, (p.54-55) Harold Ivan Smith offers the surprising gift of forgiveness to a person grieving at Christmas.

"There was a woman who practiced 'forgiveness praying.' Each day she would specifically forgive someone--until she ran out of people to forgive. Moreover, she was to follow up her prayer by doing a practical act to show that her forgiveness was real--such as writing a letter, making a phone call, offering a gift, trying to restore a broken relationship.

Some people cannot get to the work of grief because they are so busy reciting and rehashing the injustices, slights and failures of people, some of which are unforgivable if not unforgettable.

Sometimes the griever must make the first move in restoring the injury. 

Consider giving generous gifts of forgiveness--to yourself for not visiting the nursing home more often, for being too sharp in criticizing other family members who you believe failed to pull their weight. Forgive those who offer faux pas' statements that hurt more than soothe. Forgive your loved one for not taking the doctor's advice.

Forgive God for 'taking' your loved one."

 If you are having a hard time finding the words to pray a forgiving prayer, perhaps the following prayer, also found in A Decembered Grief, may help.

'Lord Jesus Christ, I ask today for Your help that I may
forgive everyone in my life who has hurt me.

I know that You will give me strength to forgive...
Lord Jesus, I especially pray for the grace of forgiveness
for that ONE PERSON who has hurt me most.
I ask to forgive anyone whom I consider
my greatest enemy, the one who is the hardest
to forgive or the one whom I said I would never forgive.
Thank You, Jesus, that Your will is to free to me
from the evil of unforgiving.'
-Anonymous prayer in How to Pray When Life Hurts, (p.34,36-37).
 

Forgiveness might be too soon for some grieving people, but for many, it is the necessary gift to lighten the heart and soul weighed down by the wrongs they have experienced. Helping them find that gift is of value beyond measure.

I hope this surprising gift will be a great addition to your skills and resources of caring for others so you will care better than ever before. Your care matters.